Learning to Fly Chapter 1 by The Amazoness Duo- amazonessduo@hotmail.com G.P.- pearsong1954@yahoo.com The breeze off of the nearby ocean meandered playfully about on a path it neither knew nor understood. It was free in a way that Syaoran Li, the heir to the illustrious Li Clan, could never be. He felt some contempt for it as it's gentle, invisible fingers caressed his shirt to his chest. What made it worse was that the breeze didn't know, nor care, for his jealous regards. With all the power his position levelled him, with all the magical strength he possessed, he was still as nothing to the wind. Oh, to be that free... “You haven't said a word since the banquet. I hope it didn't fry your brain. And you were doing so well, too. I had you all trained and everything.” A snap of fingers and an exhale of breath followed a dark haired woman's exclamation as she feigned frustration. “Ieran is going to be so disappointed that I broke her son.” Meiling Li, one time fiancee of Syaoran, walked along the small stone fence aside and above her cousin. Long wisps of beautiful raven hair trailed behind her, almost as one with the wind. Whereas the wind seemed to fight against Syaoran, finding a barrier in him, it seemed to flow effortlessly about his female companion, offering her no barriers. Perhaps it was because she was at peace with the wind, with the very nature of the world we live in. Or at least at peace with herself and her place within the world. Syaoran still found himself trying to find his place in it all, which seemed unneccessary what with his destiny as the head of the Li Clan preordained. Yet still he found himself unsure of his future and his place within it. “I'm fine.” His voice was rough, strong. He liked how it sounded. No longer the child he had been back during his time assisting with the Clow Cards, he was a man now. It was known throughout China that he was the premiere wizard, nearly as strong as his mother in the ways of his families mystical arts. With a lean body, handsome looks, and enormous potential as the next heir to the most powerful family of magicians in China, he was heavily sought after to wed the daughters of many different influential families. Yet none of them managed to sway the admittedly headstrong young master of the Li Clan. The one and only Cardmistress was his lover, the one who would one day join him. He was happy with his strength, with the man he was now. In many ways, Meiling had made his transformation possible. Or was transformation too strong of a word? It was more subtle than that. He held a confidence he had been lacking when he was younger. No longer was he a slave to his fears of not being good enough for his mother, for the Li Clan. It had taken all of his courage to tell his mother that he was dating the Cardmistress. Back then, he had been afraid she would turn her icy, disappointed eyes into him and the small amount of love he had garnered from her over the years would wither and die. But the great and all powerful Ieran had simply agreed and asked him if there was anything else of import he wished to discuss. Perhaps it was then that he discovered his mother had never expected him to be stronger than Sakura. She had never expected him to be the one to take back the cards of their ancestor, Clow Reed. Anger and relief in equal parts had flooded him until he had been almost unable to excuse himself and collapse on his bed back in his room. His whole life, he had been the only boy in his family, the heir to the head of the household, the one expected to handle the family's problems despite being the youngest. All that time, his mother had treated his sisters with warmth and caring while she had granted him a somewhat disappointed indifference. He had thought it was because he hadn't been strong enough, that she had expected more from him, that he had to be better to gain her approval. But it seemed to be something altogether different. Perhaps she had only been preparing him for the harsh life that awaited him as the head of the Li Clan. With that experience, Syaoran had slowly taken up more and more responsibilities within the household. Oddly enough, it had been Meiling who stood behind him throughout it all. His beautiful, dark haired cousin had given him the confidence in himself to perform his duties as well as to cultivate an air of authority he had long lacked. When other family members had giggled at his attempts to take charge of a situation, Meiling had barked at them to listen to him. Meiling had supported him unfalteringly every day for the past few years, despite the fact that she knew he had cancelled their engagement. Even then, she was always the first to support him, the first to tell him how great he was, how strong and smart and capable he was. She was the one to make him feel as if he could accomplish anything. Meiling was his backup when he couldn't finish things on his own. When he had been told to search through some family records for an important document, she had stayed up all night with him, helping him through all the large, musty volumes that filled the huge library. Bringing them tea every few hours, Meiling had been right alongside him as they poured through the thick, boring manuscripts. So much of his newfound sense of self, his gained self-confidence, came from Meiling's unwavering support. He felt like he could handle taking over the household, which was slowly becoming a reality. All thanks to the help of his strongwilled cousin. All of his self-doubts, his fears and weaknesses, felt as if they were being ironed away, smoothed out of himself. He was pleased with what he saw in the mirror and what he heard when he spoke. It was strong and honorable and he liked it. Sakura would be so glad when she saw him again. He would show her how he had grown, how much more in control he was. He would sweep her off her feet. “So you can speak!” Meiling clapped her hands delightedly, grinning as she startled Syaoran from her thoughts. From personal experience, she knew she was one of a few lucky people who could drag Syaoran from his moody thoughts. He came kicking and screaming sometimes, but she could force him into the here and now nonetheless. It was for his own good, she always told herself. Better to make him pay attention than to be ignored. Glancing up at his cousin, resplendant in her beautiful red and yellow dress, he nodded. “Thanks for your help at the banquet, Meiling. I really thought Fanren was going to argue about my idea for a minute.” Amber eyes seemed to sparkle gleefully as slim shoulders shrugged. “She was going to. But she wasn't going to fight the both of us. She still doesn't like the idea, but she doesn't have to. You're the new head of the household, not her. Besides, if she really wants to fight over it, you can always bring up her plethora of lovers. That would shut her up real quick. Your mother tolerates it because she keeps it quiet. You could make a big fuss over it once you're in charge though. She'd stop fighting with you just so you'd leave her alone about it. ”Silence followed for a moment. It was at this moment that Syaoran realized Meiling could fight extremely dirty when she wanted to. The revelation was both exciting and frightening at the same time. He decided to push that away for the moment. “I'd... rather not piss off Fanren if I can help it. She's still my big sister. If we can resolve it without her hating me for the rest of my life, I'm happier. Besides, it all seemed to get resolved when you threw in with me. She didn't want to have to argue with both of us.” “If you say so. She'll have to get used to you being in charge sooner or later, no matter how much older she is,” Meiling stated. Her arms spread out like wings, keeping her balance despite the increasingly harsh sea wind. A part of Syaoran's mind flinched at the thought. Fanren was his eldest sister. Memories of his older sisters dressing him in their old clothes, going through their makeup to make him look like their pretty little sister, their personal dress up doll, made his cheeks turn a light shade of crimson. The thought of threatening Fanren with the knowledge of her many lovers seemed impossible in the light of those memories. She was still his older sister. He'd always be the baby to her, which was why it was so hard for her to entirely defer to him. But at least Fanren had given in with Meiling's help. The thought of trying to force his fiery older sister to submit in any situation didn't strike him as pleasant. Whereas his mother had an icy strength to her, Fanren's spirit was fiery. He liked to think that he himself held his mother's reserve of ice cold strength, but he couldn't be entirely sure. “....ting engaged soon. He's from that Chang family. That one with all the scholars? I hear they've got some magic in the family, too. So I guess it makes sense,” Meiling was finishing, a few paces ahead of Syaoran by now. The wind continued to play with her hair, sending the pigtails trailing behind her, almost far enough out for Syaoran to reach if he tried. “Hmm?” Syaoran gathered himself, looking up to his slightly younger cousin. Thoughts swirled in a fragmented pattern as they tried to piece themselves back together. What had she been saying? A touch of anxiety began eating at him. He quashed it immediately. If there was anything he hated with a passion, it was fear. He never wanted to fear, to worry, again. Such a feeling was unfitting someone of his post. But all the same, Meiling's next words left him shaken. “What are you going to do when I'm not here to force you out of your thoughts? You'll never go do anything fun. I'm the one who drags you out to go dancing or to see movies or even to go to the park. You're hopeless.” The smile on her lips didn't meet her eyes as she walked backwards along the fence, eyeing her onetime fiancee. “I'm getting married,” she said after a brief pause. She hurried before Syaoran could respond. “I'm my mother's oldest daughter and I'm unmarried. Mom doesn't have as many kids as your mother has, so she can't afford to squander her bargaining chips. She's been looking for someone for me to marry for a while now. To 'bolster the strength of the Li Clan' is how she put it, I think.” Another shrug of her athletic shoulders. “It got to the point where she began to arrange my marriage to the only son of the Chang family. I think we're getting married in August.” “But... you can't!” His voice wasn't as controlled as he wanted it to be. When upset or angry, he still lost a bit of that vital control he longed for. His voice had come out harsh, too harsh. Too... afraid? No, it was Meiling's life. It didn't concern him. Maybe it was that she was getting married off. But hadn't she always been in a situation where she would be married off? First him and now this Chang boy. His stomach clenched at the thought of this person taking away his... best friend. Another realization. Meiling was his best friend. Perhaps his only friend. And she was being taken away from him. Fear and anger and frustration all threatened, crashing like stormy waves against the walls of control he had so diligently crafted. Now he wasn't so sure they would hold. His mind raced desperately for a way to solve the problem. “You don't have to have an arranged marriage. I stepped out of mine. I told mother I was going to be with Sakura.” As soon as it was out of his mouth, he immediately regretted it. In an unspoken pact, he and Meiling rarely discussed his love life with Sakura. Meiling didn't want to hear about it, didn't want to think about it. And this scenario was infinitely worse. He had stepped out of his engagement to Meiling in order to be with Sakura. Unlike himself, Meiling had not wanted to end their engagement. Amber eyes that would be beautiful in almost any light got incredibly frosty in the blink of an eye. Though Syaoran couldn't tell what had changed about Meiling's posture or demeanor, her aura was much, much crisper now, matching the biting wind that had risen. “This is political. The family is strengthened from my marriage to the heir to the Chang Clan. And, whether you want to believe it or not, you being with Sakura is also political. You want to know why your mother didn't put up so much as an argument for why you couldn't be with her? Because she's the Cardmistress. She has the book that belonged to our ancestor. Having you marry her, to bring both her magic and her Sakura Cards back into our family, is the next best thing to if you had managed to get the Cards in the first place.” Turning to look forward, she continued to walk briskly along the stone fence. Syaoran had to hurry to keep up. “So my mother probably wouldn't care even if I told her I 'didn't want to' marry him. And I have no reason not to marry him.” Continuing on in silence for a moment, the sounds of the street beneath his shoes sounded distant and false. Not only had he lost his precious control for a brief moment, but he had also hurt Meiling with a stupid comment he should have known better than to let slip out of his mouth. “Do you love him?” It took all his effort to make the question sound casual, to keep it from revealing how concerned he was for its answer. If she didn't have a reason to not marry him, then maybe... “No. I haven't even met him. But what do I have to wait around for? Your sisters are starting to get married off. My brother's already engaged. I don't want to be the only daughter sitting around here like a dusty old maid. Then what? I get to sit around and watch you and Sakura get married and have kids while I sit at home? At least I'm doing the family some good by marrying him. I don't have to like him to have his kids. Who knows. Maybe I'll fall for him.” The last was mean and she knew it. Part of her still wanted to make him jealous. The rest of her was just tired and lonely and exhausted. The love she held for Syaoran had blossomed when she had been a small child. The seedling had grown into something that filled her entire being. And yet, the past few years she had watched him in love with another. Never once had he seen her crying over him, tearry eyed in her bed, wishing they had never gone to Japan. She had waited and hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would eventually choose her. But now that seemed unlikely. She would never love anyone the way she loved Syaoran, but she wouldn't sit and wait like an old pet. There was nothing he could say at this point. Words would fail him and he knew it. They had never been his strong point anyway. Almost all of their arguments were won by Meiling because of that. But he felt incredibly empty as he watched her ahead of him. Hopping off the low fence, Meiling landed lightly in her sandals. “I need to get home to help mother for the preparations. I'll stop by tomorrow to see how things are going. Goodnight, Syaoran.” With that, she left, not bothering to look back over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Meiling.” The words were not enough and they sounded tiny and irrelevant in his ears. The hollow, empty sounds plagued him as he watched her receding back. He should have said something, done something to make it better. Instead, he had succeeded only in sticking his foot in his mouth. He was about to lose his best friend to some boy she didn't even know because of the family honor he had devoted his life to. He felt weak. The support for everything he had built was suddenly slipping away. He would be strong enough on his own, wouldn't he? Without her, he could still handle it, right? Doubts nagged at him, doubts he had long suppressed. The girl he had long depended on without realizing was suddenly getting ready to leave. And there was nothing he could do about it. “Fuck!!” Fist cracked against stone in a battle that was shortlived. Pain crackling through his knuckles, Syaoran hoped Meiling had been far enough away not to hear him. He hit the stone again. And again. He didn't want to let her go. It was like losing the one pillar he had to keep things together. But it wasn't his choice to make. Slumping against the wall, he slid down into a sitting position. 'Don't go, Meiling,' he wanted to say. 'Stay with me,' his younger voice pleaded. Tears built in his eyes, damned tears he had long thought dried out. His sisters had been playing with him again, something he had always loved when he was a child. They'd dressed him up in their most beautiful old clothes, made him as pretty as any young girl his age, and had played with him all afternoon. And then his mother had come. His mother never told his sisters to leave him alone back then, never scolded them for playing with him in such ways. She simply sent them away. It was time for some of Syaoran's lessons. He had to learn to be strong. He had to learn to be a man because he would one day lead the Li Clan. And his older sisters all bowed to their mother and made their hasty retreat. Leaving him with his mother's cold, disapproving glare. That glare was so different from the smiles and giggles of his sisters as they played with him. He hated it. And he had begged his fleeing sisters to stay. To not leave him alone with those cold, disappointed eyes. But they always left. And he was always alone with her. Fighting his dragons. Trying to be the man his mother demanded him to be. And now, when he was fighting again for control of the Li Clan, the brilliant smile and light that Meiling bestowed upon him was about to flee. And he knew he would be left in darkness again. 'Don't go...' his voice from years long gone cried out. Sakura. He still had Sakura. Pulling out his cell phone, her number was speed dialed in seconds. Trrrrrrriiiiil. Trrrrrrrrrrrriiiil. Trrr.... “Hello?” Her soft voice was still as bright and warm as it had been when he had fallen for her as a child. “Hello? Syaoran?” “Sakura...” His voice was steady, calm, and for that he was glad. His earlier signs of weakness had been erased. He barely felt the tears trickling down his cheeks. He was in control again. “Syaoran! How are you? I was just talking to Tomoyo-chan about you.” A pause. “I miss you.” “Mmm... I miss you, too. I'm fine.” His voice was sounding better by the minute. “Just wanted to check up on you. How've things been going?” “Oh, they're fine. We've finally got everything moved in. Oh, Syaoran, you should see the place! It's so cute! I really, really have to thank Sonomi-san for finding us such a nice place. And it's really close to the campus, too, kind of between my campus and Tomoyo's. I still have to take the tram, but... well, I could take the limo that Sonomi has take Tomoyo-chan to school, but then I'd feel even guiltier. I mean, she already got this place for us. Hoe... I need to find a way to thank her. Can you think of anything?” Sakura finally paused for a breath. “No, nothing.” “Well, I'll have to think of something.” Then, away from the phone. “Yeah, right there is fine, Tomoyo-chan.” Back to the phone. “You really should come out soon, Syaoran. It's such a nice place. The view at night is gorgeous. Tomoyo-chan and I stayed up last night and the city looks so beautiful. It's lit up like a thousand different stars. The cars look like little shooting stars under us.” “Yeah, I'd like that, Sakura. Maybe I can check it out soon.” “Really? I'd love that, Syaoran. It's been so long. It'd be so great to see you again.” Sakura sighed softly, the sigh she always gave when she was lonely. He got it a lot on their phone calls. “I'll try to see what I can do, then,” he promised. “Thanks, Syaoran,” her cheerful voice responded. “Ack... I have to go now. Tomoyo-chan needs my help to move something. Well, she didn't say she needs my help, but you know how skinny and fragile she is. She's trying to lift it herself, but....” Away from the phone, he can still hear her voice. “Tomoyo-chan, let me help you with that. You're going to get hurt if you try to carry that by yourself.” Pulling the phone to her ear, her voice was clear again. “We sent the bodyguards her mother had sent home after they helped get everything up to the apartment. We didn't want them to have to wait for us to figure out how we want the layout.” “Go ahead and help Daidouji. I'll call you later.” “Syaoan, I hope I can see you soon,” Sakura said, her voice a lot whisper.“Me too, Sakura-chan.” Maybe if she were near, he could stave off this collapse. And then the phone went silent as he let it turn off.Nothing was better. Icy tears rolled down his cheeks as the wind got more and more violently, making the leaves scractch against anything like distant, insane laughter. No one heard the cries in his head. Or perhaps they didn't care. Nonetheless, he was left all alone in the cold. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “And that one? Does it have a name?” After all of her years as the head of a large toy company, Sonomi Daidouji still managed to hold onto an almost childlike glee at times. Her harshly cut diagonal hairstyle and her business suit seemed at odds with the thin violet bow she had tied around her neck. She was, as her employees would attest, eccentric. As Tomoyo would be quick to add, she was also an extremely caring woman. Like a lioness, she would care for her cubs with the utmost care. But if ever any harm threatened one of her love ones, she would sink her claws in faster than the blink of an eye. Currently, the brunette was in one of her former moods, as she often was when around her lovely daughter. The particular business they were doing could have been delegated to others, but Sonomi hadn't assigned anyone to that particular task yet, so she had decided to do it herself. It was well known that she was the hardest worker at Daidouji Toys. And since she was never one to miss out on time she could spend with her daughter, Tomoyo, she had dragged her daughter along. “Yes, this one is to an Inaka Tsushimoto,” Tomoyo soft, singsong voice replied, reading off the list. “It's one of the working toy camcorders. It fits with the hobbies she listed. I think she'll like it.” The pale girl smiled beautifuly when she looked up, a sight that always stunned her mother for a second or two. Tomoyo bore a stunning resemblence to the late love of Sonomi's life. “I'm sure she will,” Sonomi replied, pulling up the next box. They were getting toys ready for delivery to a children's hospital. Children's hospitals were not an unfamiliar sight to the elder Daidouji woman. Her cousin, Nadeshiko, ever accident-prone and always eager to try anything, despite the danger involved, mixed with a weak constitution to begin with, sat in the small hospital beds more times than Sonomi would like to count. But being her protective older cousin, Sonomi had always been there, sometimes staying the night with Nadeshiko when they would let her. 'I don't want Nadeshiko-chan to stay here alone,' she had once told her mother. 'She'll get bad dreams.' And so Sonomi had stayed to protect her darling cousin from the specter of bad dreams. 'The shot doesn't hurt so bad, but I don't like to look at it,' Nadeshiko had once told her, eyes tearing up even as she smiled, holding onto Sonomi's hand with a death grip as the doctor gave her the injection. Sonomi's hand tightened on the box reflexively, almost thinking she would find her small cousin's hand in her grip. But as had been the case for too many years now, it wasn't so. Nowadays, Sonomi seldom had occasion to be in a hospital setting herself. She was incredibly healthy and her daughter was reasonably so. Thought somewhat frail looking, Tomoyo wasn't plagued by the sicknesses that had occasionally haunted Nadeshiko. For that, Sonomi was grateful. But nonetheless, Sonomi still had an attachment to the small children locked away in those hospital rooms, many without loving older cousins to look out for them, getting shots that looked worse than they felt. So the businesswoman wished to take away a small measure of that pain. In a way, she was still searching for Nadeshiko, or the memory of the other girl, at any rate. “Sakura-chan loves the appartment. She wanted me to thank you for her. She bowed cutely many times and said she'd do anything at all to make it up to you,” Tomoyo said excitedly, her stormy blue eyes sparkling the way they often did when she spoke of Sakura. “I believe her words when she first saw the appartment were 'Hoe... It's so beautiful! We have to give it back to Sonomi-san! I can never pay her back for this!' There was lots of cute gesticulating and general Sakura-chan cuteness, but I'd need to give you the videotape to show it all accurately.” A warm laugh escaped the older woman. Sakura made her happy in two ways. The first was that Sakura was the daughter of the woman she loved, and through Sakura, Sonomi could she glimpses of her dear Nadeshiko. The second was that Sakura made her daughter deliriously happy, which was always a wonderful sight for the elder Daidouji woman to behold. “Anything, huh? Then she'll finally marry you?” “Mother,” Tomoyo chided gently, still going through the list she held, checking boxes. “Sakura-chan is still dating Li-kun.” “Hmph... I never liked that boy,” Sonomi said, frowning. Pulling another box closer, she began to wrap it, expertly tying a ribbon onto the present. A present to a girl who didn't have any idea who she was. She hoped the girl would smile. “Then how about a day... two days...” She shook her head, smiling as she decided. “A week of passionate sex for my daughter. If Sakura-chan's dating that boy, she could at least make up for it by making you come into my office with a great, big smile. But you have to tell me how she moans. She's Nadeshiko-chan's daughter, after all.” “She moans very cutely,” Tomoyo stated matter-of-factly. “Very soft and cute and in little sounds now and then. As if they just bubble out.” Her mother raised an eyebrow, wondering how Tomoyo was privy to such information. The heiress smiled. “Sakura-chan thinks about her boyfriend sometimes. I just happen to be near enough to hear what happens.” Of course, that sometimes took some doing, but it wasn't past the lavender haired girl. Going back to her list, she shakes her head slightly, her hair swishing about. “I think by 'repaying you', Sakura-chan doesn't mean 'sleep with your daughter'.” “Well, then what does she mean?” Sonomi asked, sounding mock stern. Tomoyo's giggle undid her facade and she couldn't help but smile herself. Yawning, Sonomi stretched, letting her weary eyes fall closed for a moment. She'd worked past a full day at her normal job alone. Now she and Tomoyo had been at the office for half the night already. Watching her mother for a moment, the lavender haired girl tapped her pen against her lips thoughtfully. “You really should get some rest, mother. You work yourself too hard. If you keep this up, you'll be joining Nadeshiko-san too soon and Sakura-chan and I will both miss you too much.” If there was one thing that made her life worth living, it was certainly her daughter. And having Sakura and Tomoyo so close after all these years was almost like having two daughters. 'Our daughters,' she sometimes thought, gazing at her portrait of Nadeshiko. “Someone has to get all this done. Everyone here is too busy to do our charity work as well as their normal work but the charity work is too off and on for me to hire full time help to do it.” Another thoughtful look from Tomoyo before the pale girl commented. “I can do it for you. I know your office well enough and you can trust me with handling the charity. You can give me clearance to get whatever toys or items we need for the different charities and I can get them all together. I'm a student, so I can't work full time, but I have enough time to devote to the charity.” The older woman rolled the idea over in her head before shaking it. “You couldn't handle it by yourself. It's taking the two of us to get through it all, Tomoyo-chan. You'd be exhausted by the end of the first night. Then I'd have to drag you home to bed and fire my precious little girl just so she'd get some sleep.” Tomoyo nodded, having already thought of that. “Then Sakura-chan can help me. You and I have managed to handle most of the charity between the two of us. I can take over for you. I know it well enough. I've been helping since you started it. And Sakura-chan and I make a good team. We can handle it. Sakura-chan feels guilty that you got her such a nice appartment. She can pay you off by working for you on the charity. It gets her job experience and she'll feel a lot better about the appartment.” Leaning back in her chair, the businesswoman considered. A small grin played across her face. “Then I get to see the two of you more, too, if you're working here, even if it is only part time. All right. Tell Sakura-chan about it later. If she agrees, you two can get started tomorrow. For now,” Sonomi stretched, yawning. “Go home and get some sleep, Tomoyo-chan.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Thank you so much, Tomoyo-chan!” Sakura hugged her friend tightly for the third time, wearing only her green pajama top. “I'd love to work for Sonomi-san! I felt so bad about her letting me stay in this nice place.” Her sweatdrop lasts only a moment before she smiles happily again. “Now I can finally repay her for all of the kindness she's shown me.” Returning the smile, Tomoyo stood calmly in the dress she'd returned from Daidouji Toys in. “Mother practically sees you as family, Sakura-chan. She wants to make sure you're happy. You're very special to her. You're very special to many people.” Granted, Sonomi would rather have Sakura as a daughter-in-law than a daughter, but Tomoyo decided to leave that fact out.Sakura turned about, looking back towards her room. Soft, light blue panties peaked out from under the pajama top as Sakura raised a hand to her chin, thinking. Tomoyo continued to smile her patented smile, wishing she had her camcorder. It was in her room on her bedside table, right where she'd left it. Damn. Her arms dropping dramatically, Sakura sighed miserably. “Hoe... I don't have any business clothes. I'll look so out of place at Sonomi-san's business.” “You'll look fine in whatever you wear, Sakura-chan. Mother will probably just worry that your beauty will distract the staff.” Tomoyo shrugged lightly, her dark hair shifting over her shoulders. “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. She had known Tomoyo for well over a decade. Despite having heard well over a million flattering comments from the pale heiress in the time she had known her, Sakura still got flustered every time. She was starting to think she'd never entirely get used to it. Deciding to put it aside for now, as she had so often in the past, she changed the subject. “So tomorrow's our first day? I should get an outfit ready. This is my first job. Maybe I should call onii-chan and ask what you do the first day. But then he might lie and I'll do something stupid. Grrrr... Maybe I could ask Yukito to hit him if he lies. Only Yukito-san would never hit onii-chan, even though he really should sometimes because...” Light fingers on her cheeks slowed down Sakura's thoughts, bringing her back to the present, her anxiety spun through her like a spiders web. Tomoyo's soothing, stormy blue eyes met her own shining emeralds, her friend's incredibly soft fingers cupping her cheeks. And for a moment, Sakura was breathless, her heart still pounding a thousand miles a minute, but her thoughts tapering off into nothingness. “Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo began softly. “Breath.” She didn't start again until she saw that Sakura was taking in air through her lips once more. “You're not going in for an interview. My mother has known you for almost as long as I have. And she loves you almost as much as I do. She's happy that you're working for her. You don't need to wear anything to impress her and you don't need to do anything special at all. You're special enough the way you are. Just be you. That's all anyone wants.” Sometimes Sakura wondered if Tomoyo would kiss her. It was a dumb thought, she told herself, and something she shouldn't be thinking, but at moments like this, it resonated in her head. She had learned years ago when they were teenagers that her best friend was in love with her. Though she could be dense, and even Sakura knew that she could be, Tomoyo couldn't keep her feelings a secret forever. An embarrassing revelation for Sakura, but not one she couldn't accept and move on with. Tomoyo was Tomoyo. And when she stopped and thought about it, Tomoyo being in love with her didn't change anything about that. In a way, it just shed light on so much that Sakura hadn't understood before. Tomoyo's devotion to her took on a new light. In many ways, nothing had changed. Sakura merely had a name for Tomoyo's affection for her. In other ways, Sakura was now accutely aware of her best friend's feelings. No longer afraid of Sakura finding out, Tomoyo had become more and more generous in how she went about showing her affection. No longer confined to vague statements and showings of her love, the lavender haired girl could now outright tell her, or show her. It was embarrassing, but Sakura had accepted it as she always had Tomoyo affection. With lots of stammering and blushes. Despite being perfectly open about her love for the Cardmistress, Tomoyo never once tried to get between Sakura and Syaoran. And that puzzled Sakura to some extent. And at times like this, when Tomoyo was so close, so soft, so.... so very Tomoyo, Sakura wondered why Tomoyo didn't kiss her. Why her beautiful best friend didn't take the kiss she so obviously wanted.Tomoyo's hands were gone and Sakura was blushing now, hoping she hadn't looked too goofy for the past moment, staring wide eyed at her best friend. “I know, Tomoyo-chan,” she stated quickly. “I just want everything to go perfectly. It's my first job and I really don't want to disappoint Sonomi-san. She's been so wonderful to me.” Smiling softly, the pale girl nodded. Sakura was always so cute when she was hyper. Which was most of the time. Sakura's emotions were to Tomoyo like vibrant colors to an artist or musical notes to a musician, a feast for the sensations. Living with Sakura, being so near her, it was like living inside your favorite painting, enveloped in the colors or lost in the music. Sakura's emotions hit like a tsunami, and Tomoyo loved to stand outside and let it wash over her. “You'll do fine, Sakura-chan. It's just you and me and the charity comittee. We'll be putting it together in our spare time after classes. We've been working together for years. It's the same thing. It's just that this time we're trying to bring miracles to people who need them.” “Miracles?” That sounded nice. When all was said and done, Sakura had caught the Cards because it was her duty. Because she had to stop the Catastrophe. But she had't really been able to make anything better because of it, she had only kept things from getting worse. Now she was the world's most powerful magician and, as Kero told her, she 'didn't do anything fun' with her magic. The chance to actually help people sounded like a welcome change. She nodded swiftly. “Hai! We'll bring all sorts of miracles, Tomoyo-chan!” Taking Sakura's hands, the lavender haired girl squeezed them in her own. “I knew you'd want to, Sakura-chan. We'll do even more than mother expected. We'll do more than give a few gifts to those in need here and there. We'll bring miracles to all sorts of people. We'll be shooting stars for people to wish on. A pair of shootings stars high up in the sky.” The imagery sounded beautiful to Sakura. It seemed fitting that she and Tomoyo would be partners in this. Working with Tomoyo always comforted her. No matter how hard things got, she knew she could count on her best friend. So it sounded perfect that she would be going into her new job with Tomoyo by her side. “For now, though, Sakura-chan should get some sleep. You have a test tomorrow that I hope you were studying for while I was gone and then we need to head to work to pick up everything,” Tomoyo said, slowly letting go of Sakura's hands. The brunette nodded slowly. “Yeah, if I can get any sleep.” She was far too excited about the new events to be able to shut off her mind for sleep. She had hoped to study with Tomoyo a bit for her test the next day, but that thought was lost to her. Despite the fact that they went to different Universities, Sakura having not quite made it into Tokyo University with her incredibly intelligent and perceptive friend, she still felt more at ease when Tomoyo helped her study. For now, that would have to wait. “That's all right. I don't think I'll be able to sleep, either. I'll have visions of Sakura-chan clad in nothing but panties all night long.” Turning to head to her room, Tomoyo sighed dreamily with not a sound of distress. Cheeks burning a brilliant rouge, Sakura watched Tomoyo's elegant form walking away from her. “I'm wearing a shirt,” she squeaked in self-defense. “Not in my dreams, you're not,” Tomoyo replied before she disappeared into her room for the night.