Killing Me Softly by Amazoness Duo amazonessduo@hotmail.com “Who am I?” a small dark haired girl asked herself as she looked at her image in the mirror. Deep violet eyes met her own from underneath raven bangs, reflecting the loneliness in her heart. “Who am I?” she asked again, this time placing a hand on the cold glass. The girl in the mirror looked to be about thirteen or fourteen. But all mirrors lie. They distort the truth, showing you how reality seemingly is, not the actual reality itself. Even her Michiru-mama’s mirror didn’t tell the whole truth. She was in fact a sixteen year old Sailor Senshi. Hotaru sighed as she brushed her long hair back again for the hundredth time that day. Her enhanced aging didn’t seem to be running as smoothly this time around as it did when Saturn had increased it. That’s what you get for toying with faulty 30th century technology rather than ageless incarnations of Death and Rebirth. Her hair was past her shoulders now, growing much too quickly for her liking. She considered asking her Setsuna-mama to cut her hair again that afternoon but decided against it. By the time she woke up again I would all be back, if not longer. The only good part about this was that she’d soon be ChibiUsa’s age again. The past few weeks had been rather difficult, what with her in a much younger body than that of her lover. The young twins that had come from the future saying they were their daughters had gone back home along with ChibiUsa’s younger sister, Kousagi. The two mysterious senshi that had shown up had not been seen again, but Hotaru had the uneasy sense that she was being watched from time to time. But ChibiUsa had stuck with her through it all, making it all seem better when by all rights it was pretty awful. But then, ChibiUsa always had that affect on her. ‘But am I the same person that fell in love with her all those years ago when we met in the park?’ Hotaru asked herself. Both hands on the mirror, she looked at the pale girl being reflected back at her almost as if she expected an answer. 'We’re all a collection of memories. Thousands upon thousands running through our minds as we go about our lives, what happened in the past sometimes taking more precedence than that which is happening now. Good, bad, happy, sad. Joyous and sorrowful, grieving and enraptured. All playing out over and over again like a tape caught in a loop. But what happens when you lose all of your memories? When you lose all that you are? When you no longer have those memories coursing through your veins alongside your blood, when you have to start living from new ones that you build up to replace them, are you really the same person you were? Or did you replace yourself when you replaced the memories with new ones, you as new as the memories that now fill you?’ Tracing the image of a certain pink haired girl in the mirror nearly perfectly from memory, the wisp of a girl absentmindedly went back to her thoughts. ‘I’ve lived three different lives now. But am I the same person each time? I’ve regained some of my memories from those past lives, but in some instances it’s like they’re someone else’s. The memories I have from this life, I can just think back on and relive them. The ones from my other lives... they’re more distant, almost as if I’m trying to remember something I’ve heard from someone else. So am I the same girl that fell in love with ChibiUsa-chan? I had some very vague memories of her when I was growing up this time, but I clung on to them, cherished them because I only knew that they were important. They made me happy. This time around, I’ve practically been in love with her my entire life. It’s strange. There are a few things she’ll mention from when we first met that I can’t remember. For me, it was a lifetime ago since it was before I was reborn. For her, there wasn’t much of a change. She tells me that she can see some differences between the way I am now and the way I was then, but that she sees underneath it all that I’m still me and that’s what’s important, whether or not I have my memories of back then.’ A small smile graced soft lips as the dark haired girl forgot her worries for an all too brief moment. ‘What’s even more disturbing for me than that is Sailorsaturn. This woman, the Senshi of Death and Rebirth, very nearly frightens me. I don’t even know if I’m her or if I’m just a vessel for her. When I henshin into Saturn, it’s like someone else is talking and acting. I’m there, but it’s as if I’m merely watching from within my own body. I’m an observer while she handles everything. Am I just stronger and more in control as Sailorsaturn or is she altogether a different person than I? I don’t think ChibiUsa-chan understands. She sees us as one and the same person, but I can’t be so sure sometimes. Am I her nightmare or is she mine? I don’t know anymore. I don’t like the idea of being the vessel of such a powerful, dangerous entity. But I don’t like the idea of being the one who decides when all must begin anew anymore.’ Hotaru sighed as she let her violet eyes fall closed for a moment. Almost on impulse, she checked the window and smiled when she saw her pink haired counterpart heading toward the house, a cute red sweater hugging her body on the cold day. ‘When it all comes down to it, she’s about all I can be sure of.’ Leaving her shoes by the door, ChibiUsa smiled up at her friend from the future. “Thanks for letting me in, Puu. Is Hota-chan home? I brought her some cookies to make her feel better.” She lifted the small, embroidered napkin with the cookies inside for the green haired woman to see. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Small Lady. She should be upstairs. She didn’t feel like going anywhere today so she’s been there for most of the afternoon.” Looking back towards the stairwell, Setsuna wished there were more she could do about the situation, but as it was all she could do was wait and see. She wasn’t even very sure of what would happen herself. If only there wasn’t so much unsupervised time travel things wouldn’t be in such a mess. But that was exactly why she was going to relax. Too much thinking about the infinite possibilities and chances of things going freakishly wrong was beginning to give her a headache. “Good luck with her, Small Lady. You always seem to cheer her up.” Returning the pink haired girl’s cheerful smile with one of her own, the Senshi of Time grabbed her coat. “So you’re going out with Seiya again?” ChibiUsa asked before she could get out the door, her voice teasing. “I hope you have fun, Puu.” She smiled brightly, clearly enjoying herself. Slightly flustered, the older woman shook her head. “No. We’re just going for some coffee. Too much has happened recently and I need to get out for a while. And out does not mean the Time Gate. So he’s taking me a few places tonight. It should be relaxing.” Satisfied with her explanation, she picked up her purse. “Oh, all right, Puu. Sounds like fun.” Still smiling, the pink haired girl took a few steps into the house before turning back around. “Didn’t they stop pretending to be guys a while back?” Setsuna sighed. Yes, she most definitely needed a chance to relax. “Small Lady...” Giggling in response, ChibiUsa took a few steps backward as she continued to watch her old friend. “You should get going before she wonders where you are. And don’t worry about Hota-chan. I’ll keep an eye on her.” A wink preceded another giggle from the pink haired teenager. “You better, princess. Your mother likes to know what you’re up to and I could always let something slip the next time she asks,” Setsuna mock warned as she opened the door. “Awww... but I’m a good girl, Puu. You know that,” ChibiUsa said with a sweet, innocent smile. “Sure you are. Just keep that up and I’m sure your mother will believe you. Ja ne, Small Lady!” “Ja, Puu!!” ChibiUsa waved to Setsuna as the older woman left. Spotting ChibiUsa from the top of the stairs, Hotaru smiled happily. “ChibiUsa-chan!” Making her way down the stairs with speed she didn’t have the first time she’d been that age, she quickly met the pink haired girl in a tight embrace. Her earlier worries were washed away as she stood in the other girl’s arms. “Hota-chan, you’ve gotten big,” ChibiUsa remarked as she looked over the girl in her arms. “I guess I won’t be able to pick you up anymore,” she teased. With a giggle, she kissed the top of Hotaru’s head. “Looks like I’ll still be taller than you for a bit longer at least.” “You haven’t been able to pick me up for weeks,” Hotaru pointed out, not making a move to break the warm embrace. ‘When you’re with the one you love, does anything else matter?’ she asked herself. Standing near the doorway with her head nestled on ChibiUsa’s chest, she sure didn’t think so. “Well, it’s still been cute watching you grow up again, anyway. Even if it’s been tough sometimes.” ChibiUsa’s statement got a sigh and a nod of agreement from Hotaru at the memories of the past few weeks. The two stood there for a while in the silence, but it wasn’t a bad thing at all. If anything, it was just more soothing as the two star crossed lovers held onto each other. “Oh, and I brought you cookies.” Raising the bag, ChibiUsa smiled. “I was hoping you’d have more of an appetite than you normally do sense you’ve been growing up so fast.” The smile changed to a grin as she brushed back some of Hotaru’s hair. “You’re just too cute, Hota-chan.” The firefly blushed slightly and fidgeted in her girlfriend’s grasp. It was embarrassing when she’d say things like that. But she had to admit that she was glad ChibiUsa thought so, even if she did want to reach her normal age again. “Hai, I am a little hungry.” A grumbling stomach gave the pale girl’s understatement away. She blushed a little deeper and sweatdropped. Her body had been going through a lot in its rapid reaging over the past few weeks. Part of that had made her much hungrier than she usually was. Never being one to eat much, ChibiUsa had worried that she wasn’t eating enough countless times over the years. But lately she had actually been hungry enough to eat what the pink haired girl offered. Another side affect of her reaging was sometimes painful. Her body just wasn’t ready to go through so many years so quickly. The strain took its toll on her, sometimes in the form of migraines and sometimes as deep pains throughout her weak body. The past few days had been particularly difficult as her body went through puberty. Again. But ChibiUsa had been with her through most of it, holding onto her when the strains on her abused body were too much, when the pains were at their worst. The past few weeks would have been unbearable without her. “Oh, I should get us some tea,” Hotaru said as she remembered the most vital part of any cookie eating experience. “No, I’ve got it, Hota-chan. I think I know my way around the house enough by now.” The future princess gave Hotaru a wink, setting the pouch with the cookies down on the table. Before the dark haired girl could argue the point, she was already on her way to the kitchen. ‘Poor Taru. This is the third time she’s had to grow up. It must be horrible having to go through her childhood again. Especially with the painful things that happened when I first met her. Well, hopefully she doesn’t remember that childhood very well. And it has been awfully cute to watch her. But I can’t wait till she’s back to normal again.’ While she was thinking to herself, she absentmindedly started the tea. ‘At least she’s had Haruka-san, Michiru-san, and Puu here for her when I’m not. I may be older than her, but I need to be older than that.’ A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she sat on the counter. ‘Then I could take her back home with me to the palace and we could live happily ever after without any interruptions from nosey parents that think they know what’s best for me.’ ‘She looks so sad. She’s so good at hiding how she feels that sometimes she almost even tricks me. Why does she do that? Why does she pretend? I was never any good at it. People always saw right through me. No, people always saw what they wanted to see. She was the only one who could really see me.’ Hotaru took a few tentative steps into the kitchen, but ChibiUsa didn’t really seem to notice. The older girl was startled out of her thoughts when Hotaru’s arms went around her waist, her head resting on ChibiUsa’s lap. “They were really good, ChibiUsa-chan. Arigato gozimasu.” Violet eyes closed when she felt ChibiUsa’s hands gently rubbing her back. “Good. I’m really glad that you like them. I probably should have been finishing my homework, but it was more fun. I kept thinking about you whenever I tried anyway, so it wasn’t worth not making them.” Brushing her fingers past where Hotaru’s now longer hair ended just below her shoulders, ChibiUsa smiled to herself. She was starting to feel better. It had been a bad idea leaving the other girl, even if it was only to make some tea. They needed each other right now. “Then I’ll have to finish aging soon so I can help you catch up on all the homework you’ve missed while helping me,” Hotaru stated decidedly, her head still resting on her lover’s lap. A sweatdrop formed on ChibiUsa’s head as she continued lightly stroking along Hotaru’s shoulders. She hadn’t said anything about it, but she had been skipping a good deal of her homework lately. She just couldn’t help it. Between her mother’s betrothing her to the High Priest Elios in the future, her sister and future daughters' short visits, the anxiety over what the new Sailormoon and Saturn wanted, and worrying about Hotaru going through eleven years in a few weeks time, she hadn’t really had the will to do much of it. Her teachers had been warning her lately that she might fail a few classes if she didn’t shape up. ChibiUsa wasn’t the best student, but she did try to throw herself into things, whether she was good at them or not. So being scolded about that only made everything else seem worse. “I could probably use the help,” she admitted. “And I wouldn’t waste any time if you were the one offering it.” There was a moment’s pause while the dark haired girl shifted on her lap. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan.” Big violet eyes met the princess’s crimson ones. She hugged the older girl tighter, wanting so much to pour out what was in her soul but not knowing how. All the feelings swirling around inside her that she couldn’t name, all the pieces of her soul wanting to burst through. But all she could do was hug her. ChibiUsa just watched the pale girl holding onto her for a long moment. She felt so warm inside, as if the little patches of cold in her heart were melting away. This girl meant everything to her. Hotaru was so much more than her best friend. A sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, to hold onto, someone who made life worth living. There were things that they both needed in the other, things that only came out because of the other. “I love you so much,” she whispered softly, her eyes closing as her lips pressed softly against her lover’s. In the background, the teapot whistled, but neither girl noticed. Diana’s tail darted back and forth as her paws kept swiping at the St. Tail keychain Momoko had on her backpack. The little bell around her neck rang as she did so, alerting the lavender haired girl to her presence. “Diana- chan? Is that you?” Momoko called from the bathroom, fixing her hair into a single bun on top of her head. She had just gotten back from school a short while ago to an empty house. She was grateful that Diana didn’t eat much as a kitten because there wasn’t much left in the refrigerator. “Hai, it’s me, Momo-chan. I got restless waiting for Small Lady to get home and when she finally did, she let me help with some cookies before going to Hotaru-san’s house. I wanted to come but she wouldn’t let me. She suggested going to the Quartet’s place but...” The kitten paused for a moment as she shivered. “PallaPalla scares me. And I wanted to see you anyway. I missed you, Momo-chan.” Diana smiled up at Momoko from the bathroom door. Blushing slightly, she looked away when she saw that Momokowas only in her skirt and bra. Not noticing Diana’s blush, Momoko knelt down and picked up the kitten. “I’m glad you came to see me. It’s been pretty lonely here lately.” Momoko sighed as she stood back up, still holding Diana. She couldn’t quite place it, but something had felt wrong recently. She only hoped the feeling would go away. Diana smiled happily in Momoko’s grasp, purring as the lavender haired girl pet her. “I could come by more often if you like, Momo-chan. I always like being with you.” She titled her head to the side as Momoko’s long fingers began scratching under her chin. “But I am a little curious. Where have your parents been? I don’t think I’ve seen them once since I started coming here.” Momoko stopped immediately, eliciting a frown from Diana who had been enjoying the attention. ChibiUsa was always off with Hotaru these days, so she didn’t get pet as often as she used to. And besides, she liked it better when Momoko did it anyway. “Momo-chan? Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?” Shaking her head, Momoko was silent. There was that strange feeling again. Everything seemed off. But she couldn’t make any sense of it. What was going on? Confusion tinged with a bit of fear started to build up inside of her, but she pushed it away for the time being. “Out. I guess,” she replied after a bit, not sounding all there. Where were they? They had to be somewhere. When was the last time she’d seen them? Who were they, for that matter? Diana was starting to get concerned. She took a few cautious steps towards the lavender haired girl, nuzzling her bare leg with her nose. “I’m very sorry, Momo-chan. I didn’t mean to say anything to hurt you,” the kitten said softly, her worry escalating at the near frantic look in Momoko’s eyes. “No... No, they’re somewhere. Mother and father. And...” Momoko shook her head almost violently, lavender hair whipping at her face as it fell out of the neat bun it had been in on the top of her head. Was there anyone else? Why couldn’t she think? Was she an only child? Why couldn’t she remember anything? Her heart began beating faster as panic began to set in. A whole part of her life seemed completely blank. She could remember meeting ChibiUsa, playing with friends, getting attacked by the Amazoness Quartet, and on and on. But nothing that fit what she was looking for. ‘I just can’t think right now. It’s been a long day. I’m stressed out and I’m probably mad at my parents for something. That’s it. Just calm down. I can handle this.’ Taking a few deep breaths, the Chinese girl shook her head slowly. “No, it’s fine. I’m not feeling well, Diana-chan. Could you come back later? I think I’m going to take a nap or a shower or something. Anything. I just need to not think right now.” Now a little hurt and even more worried about Momoko, Diana shifted into her human form. The silence between them became nearly unbearable as seconds ticked away. “Are you sure I can’t help, Momo-chan? I’m worried about you. You looked so scared for a moment. I..” “No, I’m fine,” Momoko said sternly. Her tone of voice managed to startle herself as well as Diana. The cat girl winced as if burned, looking down sadly. The ache in Momoko’s heart began to grow as she watched for a moment. “I’m sorry, Diana. I just need to be alone for a while,” she whispered apologetically, hugging Diana warmly. “You know I love you, but right now I think it’s best if I don’t come off as completely insane.” Sighing, she felt the soft fabric of Diana’s dress between her fingertips as she held her closely. “I’m sorry.” Diana gave a soft, understanding smile before kissing the lavender haired girl for a brief second. “I really hope whatever it is that you’re trying to figure out will come to you, Momo-chan. You should be happy again. I want to be with you soon. Please call me as soon as you want me.” Sighing confusedly, Momoko shook her head. “I want you with me now, but I can’t. Soon. I’ll see you soon, Diana-chan. Please just forget about today. I don’t know what’s come over me. Hopefully it’ll be gone by tomorrow.” “I hope so...” Diana replied softly. Giving Momoko another soft kiss, she shifted back into a kitten and smiled. “Please feel better soon, Momo-chan.” With a ring of the bell around her neck, she was off, leaping out the window. “I hope so, too...” Momoko slumped down the wall to her knees, her hands buried in her hair. She whimpered softly as her head began to ache in protest, unyielding in it’s hold on what she was looking for. “How’s this look?” Twirling around, auburn hair falling around her shoulders, a girl modeled holding the dress in question in front of her for her boyfriend. “Kyusuke-kun?” “Huh?” The green haired boy brought his attention back to the present. “Looks pretty. You should get it, Hikaru-chan.” He had been answering more or less the same thing for well over an hour now. It wasn’t that she didn’t look cute in all of the things she picked out, it’s just that he hated shopping. Being here after school was mind numbing enough, but spending the whole night there was starting to worry him. He sighed as he leaned back against a rack of clothes, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “You’re almost as bad looking for clothes as a real girl.” The hurt look in her eyes before she turned around told him he had said the wrong thing. He immediately realized why Momoko hit him so often. He had a big mouth. “Oh... I’m sorry, Hikaru-chan. I didn’t mean it like that...” Hikaru didn’t turn around, taking a step away when he advanced. How could he say that? He knew how much this meant to her. What if he really didn’t care about it at all? She loved him, but sometimes he could be so insensitive. “I’m going home,” she stated darkly as she grabbed her purse. Kyusuke grasped her arm but she pulled away from him. “Hikaru-chan, wait, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t thinking.” Hikaru didn’t seem to be listening to him as she continued towards the store entrance. Sighing, the green haired boy followed. “See? Look how fragile relationships can be. This should be a piece of cake,” Shisa remarked, readjusting her glasses. They glinted in the store’s harsh light. “All we have to do is hit the right place and they’ll fall apart.” “This is sooooo pretty, Shisa. It’s kind of retro, don’t you think? I mean, it is years and years before we’re born so it’s kind of out of date, but I still think it’s really cute,” Selene said thoughtfully. She held the dress up to her sister for a moment before nodding in satisfaction. Shisa sweatdropped. “Selene...” “What? We need clothes from this era if we’re going to fit in, you know. That is why we came here. Besides, it looked like they just had a fight. Do you really think it would be that easy to break up ChibiUsa-ma... ChibiUsa and Hotaru?” Putting the dress in the basket she was holding, she went back to scanning the racks for anything else suitable. “Well, maybe not that easy. But it’s only a matter of looking for the breaking point and pushing hard enough. If they really love each other, we won’t be able to break them anyway.” Turning around, she finally caught sight of her sister making her way towards another style of clothes. “So we just have to make sure we keep at them.” Walking past two girls looking for dresses themselves, she stopped when she saw a short haired brunette sweatdropping profusely while her friend, a pale girl with long dark hair, was crooning over which dresses she thought the brunette should try on. “You would look so cute in this, Sakura-chan!” she said in awe, a floral background behind her. “You like ribbons,” she explained before the brunette could argue. Deciding the dress was cute but not her style, Selene continued on. “If you’re sure, Shisa. I’m starting to think it would just be easier to brainwash them or something. These Daimons are trickier than I thought. How many Daimon Eggs do we have left anyway?” Selene asked conversationally, feeling the fabric of a blouse between her fingers. After going over it in her mind, Shisa shook her head. “Enough. I don’t think we’ll run out before we’re done. And you know how much Hotaru hates to henshin into Sailorsaturn, so she must think it’s important if she has been when we’ve attacked.” “Of course she does. She’s trying to protect ChibiUsa-m... her girlfriend. Wouldn’t you? I mean, the Quartet are good, but I wouldn’t put all of my trust in them to protect ChibiUsa,” Selene pointed out. “We’re getting this,” she said finally as she put a sweater in with the rest of the clothes. Having had no intention of arguing the point when she liked her sister’s taste in clothes for her anyway, Shisa just nodded. “Yes, I would. But I thought she only became Saturn when something big happened.” “And we’re not big enough?” Selene giggled, wrapping her arms around the pink haired girl. Shisa raised an eyebrow behind her round glasses. “I wouldn’t exactly classify us as big.” “Then you’re going to have to start thinking differently. They’ll never forget we were here when all is said and done.” The maroon haired girl smiled exquisitely before kissing Shisa. Returning the kiss, Shisa leaned against Selene. “I guess you’re right. In which case, we should make sure we give them a little reminder that we’re still here soon.” Selene grinned mischievously. “That’s exactly what I had in mind.” “You’re so cute,” Hotaru whispered softly as her fingers ran through her lover’s cotton candy pink hair. ChibiUsa blushed lightly in response, Hotaru’s soft voice filling her already fuzzy mind. Enjoying the soft feel of the hair underneath her fingertips, the pale girl lost herself in her companion’s pretty crimson eyes. She felt warm inside, safe here with her. This was all she wanted. Her little slice of heaven. If she could just make this moment with her little rabbit last forever... ChibiUsa sighed contentedly, loving the attention she was getting from the dark haired girl. It was always nice being with her, but when she could be all alone with her, when they were both the only thing in the others world, it was so wonderful. Hotaru’s gentle touch felt so soothing, like cool waves lapping over her soul. Everything else seemed so far away. Time seemed to stand still for the two of them. The princess could remember Pluto having mentioned something like that before, but it was in relation to time travel. Elapsed zero. Or something like that. Whatever the case, the dark haired girl in front of ChibiUsa had managed to capture every facet of her mind. From her soft fingers to the endless pools of violet that looked deep into her soul. Her soft breathing and her ivory skin. The way she sat there in front of her almost shyly out of habit. The way her dark stockings hung in stark contrast to the pale skin she knew was underneath. The way her short, raven hair framed such a beautiful face effortlessly. Leaning ever closer, the future princess lightly brushed her lips against Hotaru’s own soft, red lips. A little taken by surprise by the sudden motion, Hotaru blushed as ChibiUsa kissed her. She had been lost in thought with the pink haired girl before her, but that quickly brought her back to the here and now. Petal soft lips met her own again and again, sending little shocks through her whole body. Her hands slowly coming out of her lover’s hair without her conscious knowledge, they found their way to ChibiUsa’s flushed cheeks. The warm skin felt silky to the touch, just another small addition to the kiss that held possession of all that she was. Fingers questing for more, she found her hands on ChibiUsa’s shoulders. The pink haired girl leaned further into the kiss, eliciting a gasp from her best friend. She took the opportunity in kind, her tongue moving into Hotaru’s mouth. Hotaru’s fingers clutched ChibiUsa closer to her as she returned the kiss as best she could. The future princess’s body against her own, the feel of their lips pressed together, the sweet sound of her muffled voice all rolled together to hit her like a ball of lightening. “I love you, Hota-chan,” ChibiUsa said, out of breath as she finally broke the kiss. Her arms wrapped around Hotaru’s waist as she smiled brightly into those all knowing violet eyes. She felt so warm, so safe in those arms. Not like anywhere else in the world, but peaceful and... She couldn’t describe it. Not exactly happy or ecstatic but more a mix of the two. Exciting yet calming at the same time. She just wished that she’d never have to leave the gentle embrace. Dark eyelashes fluttered as soft lips parted again. “I love you, too, ChibiUsa-chan. I’ll always love you. I need you." Hotaru looked back at her most cherished possession. Much better than any of her lamps, ChibiUsa lit up the darkness inside her soul. She counted her blessings to have been able to meet the girl in front of her. “Oh, Hota-chan,” ChibiUsa whispered softly, kissing her cheek. “I need you, too. I wanna be with you forever. And we’ll make that happen. I promise.” That alluring smile was almost impossible to resist. ChibiUsa nuzzled Hotaru’s neck, a lock of her dark hair between ChibiUsa’s fingers. Sitting up so she was once again eye level with her, ChibiUsa leaned forward. The future princess's kiss left the younger girl breathless. “ChibiUsa-chan...” Her hands went under the back of ChibiUsa’s blouse, caressing up and down her back. ChibiUsa let out a soft moan. It was always so easy to lose herself when she was with Hotaru. To forget that there was anything outside of her sweet caress. Her right hand slid under Hotaru’s skirt, causing the raven haired girl to blush darker as she found where the raven haired girl’s stocking ended on her thigh. Traveling down the cloth along the length of Hotaru’s long leg, ChibiUsa smiled when she saw Hotaru’s reaction to her touch. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back and to the side, Hotaru relished the feelings running through her. One of her hands moved to ChibiUsa’s stomach, her other hand still rubbing the princess’s back. She blushed a bit as she remembered talking to ChibiUsa about that very thing. ChibiUsa had told her she liked seeing her in stockings. Which was strange because she herself preferred ChibiUsa’s legs bare. But she often wore stockings anyway so knowing ChibiUsa liked them was an added bonus. ChibiUsa gentle touch and sweet kisses were quickly becoming more feverish. Bringing her hands up, she pulled the blouse up over ChibiUsa’s head, missing the feel of ChibiUsa against her for a moment. She giggled as the blouse got caught on her oddly styled pink hair. “Gomen, ChibiUsa-chan.” Giggling herself, ChibiUsa wriggled free from the shirt. “Sometimes it seems like a good idea to have shorter hair. Like yours.” Her fingers brushed through Hotaru’s shorter, dark hair. She blushed herself as Hotaru kissed her and began unclasping her bra. “I like your hair. It’s cute the way it is. I’ll just have to be more careful next time. Or you could start wearing more with buttons,” Hotaru suggested. Lithe fingers trailed across ChibiUsa’s now bare torso, bringing forth a gasp from the rabbit. “You’re beautiful, ChibiUsa-chan.” “Thanks, Hota-chan.” Smiling, ChibiUsa placed her hands atop Hotaru’s. “So are you. It’s nice to have you near your normal age again.” She sweatdropped as she thought of all of the aging and reaging Hotaru had done. “Well, as close to your normal age as you can be, under the circumstances. Whatever normal means.” That word had soon lost its meaning to the future princess. Time traveling and falling in love with a girl that not only existed before her birth but was the human incarnation of death and rebirth did that to you. Her thoughts soon faded as Hotaru’s hands playfully shifted under ChibiUsa’s, reaching just below the soft swells of her breasts. “This isn’t very fair, you know.” Hotaru giggled as ChibiUsa raised a pink eyebrow. “Oh? And why is that, my princess?” She smiled innocently at the pink haired girl as the other girl fought to maintain a mock serious look. Shortly thereafter, Hotaru found herself only wearing her stockings, her legs crossed under her. Her arms down by her sides, she blushed terribly. ChibiUsa slipped off her own skirt and panties before joining her on the bed. Hotaru was about to comment when ChibiUsa placed a soft kiss on her lips. Comment forgotten, she lost herself in the arms of her lover. The two girls held each other for a long time, trading kisses and caresses as they did so. ChibiUsa’s hand returned to Hotaru’s thigh at the end of Hotaru’s stockings. Moving upwards, her fingers slid across the creamy white skin of the dark haired girl’s behind. Hotaru’s toes wriggled in the confines of the dark stockings as ChibiUsa’s touch made her body yearn for more. “Mmmm... Hota-chan...” ChibiUsa let out a short gasp as Hotaru’s hands found their way to her breasts again. Hotaru’s hands gently massaged the soft skin, her ever soothing touch eager to please her pink haired lover. A moan escaped ChibiUsa’s lips as those fingers began to caress one of her hardening nipples. Hotaru was soaking up all of the wonderful sensations the pink haired girl was causing inside of her. ChibiUsa’s moan sent shivers through her body. It was all swirling through her now. She felt warm and complete being there with ChibiUsa. Like the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly. And having her there like -that- was just exhilarating. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan,” she whispered as her fingers once again returned to ChibiUsa’s hair. Their naked bodies slid together as they kissed again. Tongues brushed together in their dance. Hotaru nearly yelped as she felt ChibiUsa’s fingers trace her entrance. Her moan was muffled by their kiss. She shifted under her lover as ChibiUsa’s fingers continued to rub between her legs. ChibiUsa kissed down Hotaru’s neck, basking in the warm glow slowly gaining strength inside of her. Parting Hotaru’s petals as she continued her kisses, the pink haired girl slid a finger into the Senshi of Death and Rebirth. Her other hand went down Hotaru’s thigh, caressing the soft skin. She felt Hotaru shudder under her ministrations as she was kissing the crook of her neck. Hotaru’s moans increased in frequency while she pulled ChibiUsa closer to her. The moans were like music to the pink haired princess, spurring her on. She picked up the pace, sliding faster into Hotaru’s velvety womanhood. Half on top of the dark haired girl, ChibiUsa kissed back to her lips. Watching Hotaru like that was stirring her heart. She loved being able to be so intimate with her. The two of them together, so close. Another moan escaped Hotaru’s lips as she writhed under ChibiUsa, clutching the bed sheets tightly. She knew she wouldn’t last much longer with the rate things were going. “ChibiUsa...!” The feelings inside were becoming far too much for her to control. Looking at ChibiUsa through hazy eyes, she watched as the girl she loved continued pushing into her, her free hand running up Hotaru’s side. By now thoughts of the future were long gone, only the present occupying her mind. If this could last forever... Her sweet pink haired bunny could do such things to her. She moaned ChibiUsa’s name again as she felt quick kisses on her breasts. Tensing on the bed, she moaned one last time as she arched her back. She was soaring. For that one moment, everything was truly bliss. She was with the girl she loved, sheltered from all of the pain and hatred of the world. Her whole body felt truly alive. It took her a moment to realize that ChibiUsa was kissing her again. Returning the kiss weakly, her arms went to either side of her waist. “Mmmm... You’re too good to me, ChibiUsa- chan.” A soft giggle and another kiss were the reply as both girls cuddled on the bed. “Not at all. You deserve more than I can give you. But that won’t stop me from trying.” ChibiUsa winked at her lover as she held her close. Hotaru seemed to think about it for a moment. “If you say so, but as long as I’m with you, I’m more than happy.” Placing a kiss on ChibiUsa’s cheek, she snuggled closer. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan.” ChibiUsa smiled and rested her head on Hotaru’s shoulder. Everything felt right. This was the way things were meant to be. “I love you, too, Hotaaa...” The pink haired princes gasped as Hotaru’s fingers brushed past her curly pink pubic hair. Her cheeks started to redden at such an intimate touch. “Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama aren't coming back from Paris until later tonight and Setsuna-mama won’t be back for another couple hours at the least,” Hotaru whispered quietly, kissing ChibiUsa’s nose. The slightly younger dark haired girl rolled on top of her best friend. “We have all of the time in the world, ChibiUsa.” It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense. What was going on? Was she going insane? Had she been insane? Tears streamed down Momoko Momohara’s face as she sat in a heap of papers and pictures on the floor. She had gone through everything she could think of, dressers and drawers, closets and rooms alike, in an attempt to find something, anything, to tell her about her family. Nothing. There was nothing whatsoever pointing to anyone else living in the house besides her. The refrigerator was almost bare. Just enough for a single girl to get by. And she always did the shopping. The only pictures she had were the ones friends had given her. She picked up one with her and ChibiUsa at the Infinity amusement park. She’d had such a fun time there. Not a care in the world. But now it was one of the few pictures she could find in the whole house. No loving parents or family photos were to be found anywhere. Her parents’ bedroom was sparsely furnished and didn’t look lived in at all. For all intents and purposes, she was very much alone. Her mind reeled at the implications of that fact. She was losing her mind. If she hadn’t lost it already. The room seemed to be spinning around her. Tears rolled down red cheeks before plunging to the photos below. What was wrong with her? She couldn’t remember her parents, but so often she could remember just knowing that they were there. Memories from times not so long ago came forward as proof, as if they should prove her parents very existence in some way. “I’d love to go, ChibiUsa-chan, but I have to call my mom. She always freaks out if I’m not home on time.” The lavender haired girl sighed. “Just a second. I think my dad’s home. I’ll be ready to go in a minute.” Momoko smiled as she picked up her school bag and went inside. Sitting on the phone with a friend from school, Momoko laid back on her bed. “I’ll have to call you back. My mom needs the phone. Bye!!” Momoko clutched her shoulders until her fingernails dug painfully into the flesh. Her choked sobs wracked her body as she curled up on the floor. Confusion and fear were mixing inside her body like a hurricane, picking up force as she found no answers and more questions. Her parents had been there. But why couldn’t she remember them? She had known they were there, but what happened after that? Her body froze as the memories came flooding back to her. Momoko picked up the phone and dialed her home number. The phone rang and rang with no answer. Momoko smiled. “Hi, mom. Yeah. I know. Can I go shopping with a few friends?” She sighed as the phone continued to ring, still believing her mother was talking to her. “I know. I promise I’ll be home in time for dinner. Thanks, mom!” Entering the empty home, the Chinese girl turned to a barren chair. “Oh, you’re home. I’m just about to go out with some friends. Have a good night, daddy!” She waved to the empty chair and ran back to her room. Hanging up the phone, Momoko turned to the space next to her bed. “Okay, I’m done, mom. Here’s the phone.” She reached out with the phone and let go, it dropping to the floor with a thud. The lavender haired girl just smiled. Momoko’s hand went to her mouth. Her whole body was shaking and she felt sick. They weren’t there. They had never been there. She had been all alone for years. “What... What the hell is wrong with me?” Momoko cried out, burying her face in her hands. Alone. All alone. The eerie silence that seemed so natural to her now seemed deafening, closing in on her from all sides. She needed to get out, but she didn’t know where to go. There was nowhere to go. Because this would be all that was waiting for her to come back to. An empty house with no memories and no loved ones. A cold place where she’d been staying on her own for quite a while. Nothing made sense to the distraught girl anymore. All of the pieces of the puzzle were scattered on the floor and she couldn’t find the right ones. How could she have been on her own for this long and not know? How could she think that her parents were right there when they weren’t? The phone ringing startled the girl sobbing on the floor. The phone continued it’s cruel, maddening trill as she lay there. With some effort, she pushed herself up to her knees. The phone continued its onslaught on her. Her hand reached out longingly. “Mom...? Dad..? Is... is that you? Where... where are you?” When she finally grasped the still ringing phone, fear shot through her pained heart. What if it was like before, when she thought she was talking to her parents but they hadn’t been there at all? Just how far gone was she? What if it started happening again? With an anguished scream, the tormented girl threw the phone as hard as she could against the wall, the ringing slowly coming to a halt. “Leave me alone... Just leave me alone...” The feeling of icy cold fingers brushing across her shoulder sent cold shivers ran down her spine. Turning around quickly, she watched the open window as the cold air swept into the room, the drapes fluttering like spirits. When you’re losing your mind, what is real and what is imagined? What is the difference between them? If it’s simply a matter of perception, then it is all just as real as the reality everyone else is subject to. Which only served to frighten Momoko even further, worried that her grasp on reality was slipping. The thought that she hadn’t had it for a good long time wasn’t at all comforting. “No, just leave. I don’t want to hear it... Just go away!!” Momoko screamed as she threw the answering machine against the door. Shadows... Shadows... She was here for a purpose. A single reason that had led her all the way to Japan from very far away. That had led her to ChibiUsa back when the pink haired girl had first arrived. “No... I don’t want to...” Cruel faces, sad faces, dying faces, all staring at her expectantly, hopefully. She shivered and clutched herself tighter, ignoring the blood starting to drip under her fingernails. “Diana-chan... Please, help me..” Whimpering, Momoko fell back to the floor, praying that her plea would be answered but knowing deep inside that nothing could help her. Fate was cold and heartless. ChibiUsa frowned up at the cloudy skies above. It wasn’t exactly park weather. The weather had been rather nasty for the past month or so. But she didn’t mind. She was glad to be able to get Hotaru out of the house. The other girl had been so worried lately about the future senshi and her reaging that she hadn’t been out much. She was worried about people from school seeing her for good reason. Healing was somewhat easier to explain than her change in age and her healing hadn’t gone over well the last time she’d been that age. Still wearing the red sweater she’d had on earlier, she couldn’t help but shiver at the cold breeze that brought along a smell of rain. She hated the rain. It was always so sad. Pulling the sleeves of her oversized dark bluish gray jacket up, Hotaru finally managed to get her pale hand free. Most of her clothes were still for an older girl so it was still a little too big. Her white skirt fit well other than being a little too small despite the fact that she had only bought it a week prior. Dark stockings jutted out underneath, covering her long legs. She sighed as she leaned closer to ChibiUsa, both of her arms around one of the pink haired girl’s. “This is really nice, ChibiUsa-chan. Thanks for taking me.” “I think so, too. I’m glad you came with. Otherwise I’d have had to drag you.” ChibiUsa giggled as the two walked along the mostly empty park. “You need some sunlight every now and then. Mako-chan says that about every pretty flower, so I have to take her advice.” Pale cheeks flushed at that. She had been confused as of late about the way ChibiUsa acted about their relationship but it seemed that lesbianism hadn’t been much of a factor other than her mother’s possible disapproval with her needing an heir, but the fact that she was in a relationship. From what ChibiUsa had told her, Crystal Tokyo was much better about that sort of thing than the present day. But ChibiUsa had never been in a real relationship before Hotaru and that was somewhat embarrassing for her. “I would have gone anywhere you asked me to. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where we go.” Hotaru leaned against the older girl, feeling warm inside. “You’re so sweet, Hota-chan,” ChibiUsa said with a bright smile. “I wish I’d dragged you out earlier, though. We should probably start home soon before it gets too dark.” The long shadows of the two girls preceded them as the now deserted park stretched out all around them. “You’re right.” The dark haired girl shivered from the cold, holding closer to her future lover. “But then, I did like being home with you, too, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all.” ChibiUsa blushed furiously at that, remembering exactly what they had been doing at Hotaru’s house. “No, that was definitely not a bad thing. But I still need to get you out again soon.” “Get me out tomorrow then. I promise I won’t make a fuss. Just hold me tonight. Please promise you’ll hold me all night,” Hotaru whispered softly as she held ChibiUsa’s arm through the cotton of her sweater. Her eyes closed softly for a moment. “I think being in your arms would make me forget about everything else. You’re the only thing worth remembering.” Big violet eyes blinked up at the future princess with unbridled emotion. “Oh, of course I will, Hota-chan. I promise. That would make me happy, too.” ChibiUsa kissed Hotaru’s cheek softly, pulling her closer. “I don’t want to go home tonight. I just want to stay with you. And to never let go.” “Then don’t,” Hotaru’s soft voice answered, meeting ChibiUsa’s crimson eyes with her own. She could feel the princess’s heartbeat, soothing and full of life. “I love you, ChibiUsa. I don’t care what happens. I want to be in your arms forever.” ChibiUsa blushed slightly, fingers running lightly through Hotaru’s dark hair. “I’d like that very much. I love you, too.” Cupping Hotaru’s chin, she leaned in and kissed her softly. Hotaru’s arms around her prodded her forward, the younger girl’s hands lost in the sleeves of the oversized jacket. Her fingers traced Hotaru’s soft skin along her cheeks to back behind her ear. The rest of the world, the dark skies and the darkening park, all faded away as the dark haired girl in her arms demanded her full attention. She felt so happy just being with her, like everything she was worrying about was pointless. Why did any of it matter when she had such a wonderful girl to share her life with? The pitfalls and promises thereof, it was all wonderful as long as she got to share it with Hotaru. Her free hand slid down past the ivory skinned girl’s shoulder blades, Hotaru shifting against her as she did so. The kiss lasted for a bit longer until neither girl could hold their breath anymore. “Oh, ChibiUsa-chan...” Hotaru’s pale cheeks were a rosy pink as she looked up at her pink haired lover. Snuggling against her, her thoughts were a jumble of images and feelings, none of them making any sense. She just smiled and snuggled closer. It was a happy kind of confusion, one that she didn’t mind having in the least. It was how the other girl completely turned her world upside down. ChibiUsa giggled as her fingers played with Hotaru’s dark hair. “You do want to go home, don’t you, Taru?” The pale girl didn’t answer for a moment, just looking up at the future princess, long pink pigtails framing her lovely face. ‘She’s so beautiful. And so sweet and cheerful and kind and... She’s perfect. She’s so perfect. I’m so lucky to have her. I never feel lonely with her. She makes things seem so much better.’ She blushed deeper as she rested her head on ChibiUsa’s chest. “Not really. I just want to be with you.” “Maybe we can wait a little bit before we start heading back, then,” ChibiUsa said softly, brushing back the bangs from Hotaru’s eyes. She smiled at the deep violet eyes looking up at her. Kissing the tip of Hotaru’s nose, the girl from the future worked her way to the soft lips anxiously waiting for her. Her crimson eyes closed as the two kissed passionately in the moonlight. The cold wind that made her skirt flutter remained unnoticed as she held out the kiss. “Oh, how cute! The princess and her lovely fiancée,” a voice broke through the silence, startling the two girls. Thousands of possibilities shot through ChibiUsa’s mind as she searched for the source of the voice. Someone from the future? An emissary of her mother? Another enemy? “But that’s not her fiancée, Shisa. The horse boy is. Oh, how naughty. She’s cheating on him, ‘Ne-chan,” another voice added. The future Sailormoon smiled as she brushed back long, dark hair. ChibiUsa released a sigh of relief. These two had saved them from a rogue Daimon the last time they had met. But still, what they had said stung. Just when she had managed to forget about her mother’s betrothing her to High Priest Elios, they had to bring it up. She managed a smile, not letting any of the pain show through. “Where have you two been? We didn’t have a chance to thank you last time.” Watching the two girls warily, Hotaru held onto ChibiUsa tighter, protectively. They frightened her, though she couldn’t quite figure out why. Something was just horribly wrong about them being there. The cold night air and eerie shadows didn’t make the situation feel any better. Fingers running gently down her back soothed her slightly, but she didn’t take her eyes off the two new arrivals. “Maybe we didn’t want your thanks. It was a shame that you couldn’t handle the Daimon yourselves. It sure would have made things easier.” The dark purple haired girl tilted her head to the side, smiling oddly. “But then we couldn’t have introduced ourselves, so it’s really just as well.” “It took us by surprise. We didn’t have a chance to stop it with all of the kids there,” ChibiUsa argued. Shisa ignored her. Her glasses reflected the streetlights, making her eyes seem more haunting. “What? No Sailor Quartet? Isn’t that a touch risky? If you can’t stop a Daimon in the middle of a shop without help, how can you protect yourselves from someone out in the middle of a deserted park?” The wind picked up, whipping past the four girls and rustling through the trees. By now, ChibiUsa was starting to feel uneasy, but she didn’t let it go very far. If they meant them any harm, they would have let the Daimon hurt them weeks ago. She swallowed nervously, her mouth suddenly going dry as she realized the two were already their Sailor Senshi selves. “Who are you? What do you want?” She took a step away from Hotaru, looking hopefully from one girl to the other for answers. “Who are we?” Shisa repeated, smiling sweetly as she quickly diminished the distance between them until she was right in front of the future princess. ChibiUsa’s slow nod amused her. It meant she was frightened. Before ChibiUsa could react, her fingers snagged the red material of her sweater, pulling her close into a deep kiss. The kiss turned painful as she bit down into ChibiUsa’s soft flesh, the taste of blood filling both of their mouths. It took the pink haired girl a moment to overcome her confusion and shock to attempt to struggle free. “You don’t remember me, mama?” Shisa asked with a sad tone in her voice, pushing her glasses back up. ChibiUsa shook her head, trying to speak but nothing came out. Shisa’s predatory grin sent more shivers through her. “Leave her alone!” Hotaru yelled angrily, forgetting her own fear for the moment. She could get fiercely jealous when push came to shove. After all, she had been all alone before ChibiUsa came into her life. And a strange future daughter of hers was no exception. Seeing ChibiUsa hurt like that... This whole thing seemed to be getting worse. She changed her mind, she did want to go home. Meanwhile, the pink haired girl in question was still reeling from the kiss. “Wha... Shisa?! You’re Shisa!? What the hell is going on?” she demanded, now utterly confused at the situation she found herself in. Nothing seemed to be making any sense at all. Her hand went to her mouth, coming away with the deep crimson of her blood. “Get her,” Shisa stated simply, motioning to Hotaru. Selene nodded and stepped forward. Hotaru’s face drained as she saw the girl heading towards her, any possible reasoning for that seeming anything but good. “No!!” ChibiUsa stood in front of the younger girl, her arms out. Blood was still dripping down her chin, but that was long forgotten in her mind. “What do you want?” Shivering behind the future princess, Hotaru couldn’t believe what was going on. What did they want from her? Why were they doing this? They were out here all alone and she didn’t even know if she could henshin, let alone if she should when those against her claimed to be her daughters. She didn’t know what she might do as Saturn. What might be deemed necessary. “Your death, if you keep interfering.” The pink haired Sailorsaturn raised her Glaive above her head swiftly. The blunt end came crashing down into ChibiUsa’s ribcage. “Now stay out of our way.” “ChibiUsa!!” Hotaru yelped, grabbing onto the older girl from behind, wanting to help her. ChibiUsa swayed as she tried to maintain her balance through the pain. “I don’t want to fight you. Just tell me what you want. Why do you want Hota- chan?” Stepping up beside her sister, Selene shook her head. “Would you give her to us if we told you?” ChibiUsa’s silence answered her better than any exclamation would. “Exactly. Besides, we don’t answer to you. You’re not even out mother yet. Now be a good princess and hand her over. While you're at it, go honor your mother’s wishes and get married.” Her tone grew icy, her eyes locking with those of her pink haired mother. “No. It’s my life and I’m going to do what I have to do. I’m going to do what my heart tells me to,” ChibiUsa replied defiantly. She shook her head sadly. “I don’t know why you two are doing this. Why can’t you tell me what’s going on?” Her only answer was another blow from the blunt end of Shisa’s Silence glaive, catching her in the shoulder. She grimaced as she reeled back. Hotaru’s arms were still around her waist as the dark haired girl peeked out at the going ons. “Stop it! I’ll go with you, just leave her alone!” Hotaru held tighter onto the older girl, her violet eyes shut tight. She couldn’t stand to see them tormenting ChibiUsa any longer. She didn’t care what happened to her as long as they left her alone. If ChibiUsa’s life would be easier without her... She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. This was no time to think about that. “No, don’t, Hotaru. Henshin. We’ll fight back if we have to. But I’m not going to let them have you.” ChibiUsa watched the duo warily as she tried to remember where she’d placed her broach. Hotaru’s reply shocked her as the dark haired girl shook her head against her back. “I can’t... I can’t henshin... ChibiUsa-chan, I’m sorry...” There was no way she could explain it at the moment. Hotaru couldn’t muster the strength. She was too afraid of what she was as Saturn. She was only supposed to become Saturn in the most dire of circumstances. Had she been misusing that lately? “Need a chance to work up a new plan?” Shisa asked thoughtfully, taking another step forward. “I’m afraid you won’t have the chance. If you’re not going to be peaceful about it, then we’ll have to use force to take what we want.” Selene’s eyes darted from her sister to her future parents and back. This whole thing wasn’t quite going the way she’d planned it. But in the end, she knew where her loyalties lay. Chanting, she pulled up her wand. With a few intricate motions, she summoned the powers deep within her. Careful to keep it from being too strong, it still blew the two girls in front of her several meters away. The first thing that entered Hotaru’s mind as she weakly opened her eyes was the sudden realization that she wasn’t dead. She hurt far too much to be dead. When Selene had attacked, she’d been sure that was the end. Rolling on her side, pain shot through her small body. Hotaru winced in agony. Fear bubbled up inside her when she noticed that she’d only taken a small portion of the attack. ChibiUsa had taken the brunt of it. "ChibiUsa...” She managed weakly, her eyes scanning frantically for any wisp of pink. Finally catching sight of her injured girlfriend, she crawled over as quickly as she could through the pain. The fear mixed with a burning panic as she got closer. All of her hopes and dreams lay within the beautiful future girl. Without her, how could she go on? Her rapid heartbeat slowed slightly when she saw the slow rise and fall of ChibiUsa’s chest. “ChibiUsa-chan..” The red of her sweater masked the blood. Cold tears dripped down Hotaru’s cheeks as she reached out for her. A hand snaked out and grabbed Hotaru’s arm before she had the chance, pulling her roughly to her feet. “Good job, Selene. I would have hit them harder, of course.” The dark haired Sailormoon shrugged calmly. “Yeah, but you’re a sadist, Shisa.” Smiling over at her companion, they both turned from ChibiUsa’s prone form. Hotaru struggled against the painful grip Shisa held on her arm, desperate to get back to her lover. “ChibiUsa-chan! Please be okay...” If anything happened to her, please just let her die right now. Because if ChibiUsa was gone, she had no reason to go on. Suddenly, Shisa’s grip released, Hotaru dropping to her knees as she did so. Shisa screamed at the sudden distraction as Diana attempted to sink her claws into one of the causes for her mistress’s pain. “Isis!!” she yelled. When Diana hit the floor, she got ready to pounce back up at the girl. She had been on her way back home, still worried about Momoko’s odd behavior, when she caught sight of the two attacking Small Lady. Before she got the chance to pounce again, something furry slammed into her. Another cat, this one spotted with pink, grappled onto her. “I’m sorry,” the kitten whispered softly as she attempted to restrain Diana. Shisa’s glove wiped her face, smearing the warm blood. She winced in pain, looking at the dark stains on her glove. Selene gently pushed her sister’s glasses back up into place. “Poor Shi-chan,” she whispered softly. The shorter haired girl winced again as Selene’s fingers tried to wipe some of the blood away. “You’re right. Someone’s always trying to hurt us. I don’t want to see you hurt, Shisa. I’ll fight with you. To the death if I have to. I won’t let anyone take me from you, no matter the consequences.” Her forehead pressed against her sister’s, her arms pulling the injured girl closer. “Arigato, Selene. That’s why we have to fight. So we can be together. The outcome doesn’t matter. Because I’ll always be with you.” Shisa smiled softly as she placed a gentle kiss on Selene’s lips. Her very slightly older twin sister closed her eyes tightly as they kissed. “Which is why we have to put an end to this. I promise I’ll never let go, Selene.” The dark haired princess was quiet for a long moment, shaking her head as she rested it against her partner’s shoulder. She tried to speak, but her throat was starting to ache, the words dying before they could reach her mouth. Tears started to form unbidden in her eyes. She was still afraid. She was still too afraid. “I... I can’t, Shisa... Not yet. I’m not ready yet..” The conversation between the two future Sailor Senshi went unnoticed by Hotaru as she fell to her knees in front of the huddled form of her lover. Her breathing was ragged as she pressed her hands to ChibiUsa’s blood soaked side. A pained moan came from the pink haired girl as she tried to roll over, barely conscious. “ChibiUsa-chan... It’s going to be alright, ChibiUsa-chan... Please tell me it’s going to be alright... I don’t know if I can believe that on my own.. Please, I need you...” Her eyes fell closed as she tried to concentrate all of her healing energies into the crumpled girl in front of her. She was lost and cold and alone without her, but she needed to focus all that she was if she was going to be able to keep the one thing that meant the most to her. The surge of pain from ChibiUsa cut through her like a knife, an icy breath barely escaping her lungs at the touch. It burnt her soul when she touched the pain inside. Part of her mind wanted to end her suffering, to never let ChibiUsa suffer that way ever again. That thought scared her. What type of cold Soldier was she? But she also knew that she just couldn’t stand to let ChibiUsa hurt like that. The other part of her knew that she couldn’t go on without her. Her life would have no meaning. Why live a lie without her love? No, she couldn’t let her go. Even if it was selfish, she was too afraid of going on without her, of having to wait for her own death to see those beautiful crimson eyes again. She concentrated harder, cold tears rolling one after another down her cheeks. “Please, ChibiUsa-chan... Stay with me...” “Space Sword Blaster!!” Hotaru could barely hear the sounds behind her as her surrogate parents arrived. Everything was growing colder. Her body was beginning to feel numb as ice started to pour through her veins. “ChibiUsa...” Her hands still drenched with her lover’s blood, the dark haired girl collapsed onto the incapacitated future princess. 'She doesn't love you. She doesn't love you. She could never love you. Who could? You're lucky she's been your best friend for this long. Soon that will be gone, too, and you'll be lucky if she even remembers who you are. What you shared. To her, you'll just be a tiny fragment of the past. But your entire life is built up around that fragment. Of that tiny piece of now. When it's all over, what will become of you? Who will care?' Hotaru shifted in her fitful sleep, her small body tossing and turning in the dim light. Ever so slowly, deep violet eyes began to open. She lay there for a long moment as she often did when she'd wake up, lacking the willpower to do anything but stay where she was. What lie outside of her bed, of her room, was unknown, frightening. The future was shrouded with uncertainty, the past filled with its own sorrow. The words from her dream kept running through her head, but she was out of tears. She just felt... empty. As if the life had been taken right out of her. As if she were dead all over again. She shuddered at the thought, a cold chill working it's way through her body. Some of the few memories about her past life were that she had been more or less a living corpse. She had been trapped in a dying body that hadn't been allowed to die. Brushing back her dark bangs, the pale girl tried to block the memories from her mind but she couldn't escape them. Not entirely. She felt like a shell. The feelings of pain and potential abandonment were still there, but diluted. No joy, no sorrow, just the long steady pulse of loss. Like there was nothing she could do to stop it. You can't fight the future. But that didn't mean she had to be there for it. Without ChibiUsa... What was she thinking? She hadn't lost her yet. ChibiUsa was still there with her. Wasn't she? Hotaru gasped, the memories of the fight finally surfacing in her still awakening mind. "ChibiUsa-chan!" Slipping out of bed, she barely managed to stay on her feet as the world seemed to tilt on it's side. Her body ached tremendously. Somehow focussing past all of that, she headed out of her bedroom door in her nightgown. Panic gripped her heart as she headed down the stairs, looking for anyone who could tell her that the pink haired girl was alright. Or... 'No! Don't think like that. You can't. She has to be okay. She promised that everything would be just fine. ChibiUsa-chan would never break her promise.' Her eyes fell upon her three surrogate parents. They stopped their conversation abruptly when they saw their weary daughter. "Hime-chan! You shouldn't be up yet. You still need to rest," Michiru cautioned as she walked towards her. Hotaru shook her head, dark hair swaying from side to side. "Where's ChibiUsa-chan? What happened to her? The last thing I remember was the fight and..." Blood. Her hands had been covered in blood. That of her lover. Suddenly she wasn't so empty anymore. A blade of ice had been wedged into her heart. Tears began to well up in her dark, endless eyes as she looked at each of her parents' quiet faces. No, it wasn't supposed to be that way. ChibiUsa was supposed to be happy, even if that eventually meant they would go their separate ways. If one of them was to die, why couldn't it be her? She had nothing to live for. The pink haired girl had every reason to. Why was Fate so cruel? Why couldn't it show compassion for once? "Where is she?" Her voice trembled as cold tears fell past her chin. "In Crystal Tokyo," Setsuna offered after a moment's hesitation. "The depth of her injuries couldn't be healed here. She needed medical attention from her own time." Hotaru lost the feeling in her legs but before she could sink to her knees, Michiru had caught her. The older woman hugged her gently. The dark haired girl felt her world crashing down around her. She had been so worried about where their future may lead, especially with ChibiUsa belonging in a different time. But she had always been able to put it off. Now... Now she may have lost ChibiUsa. What if she couldn’t come back? How could she wait that long to see her again? What if she never saw her again? Burying her face against her surrogate mother, icy tears started streaming down her cheeks. It couldn’t end this way.