This is my first Sailor Moon fic. Not sure exactly how good it is, but I figured I might as well submit it for being read. I took a few liberties with the characters, not very many though, IE giving the already sickly Hotaru asthma. Time frame is of normal, Hotaru being 12-13. You can email me at Saturn_Knight@hotmail.com with comments/questions. "Toujours" By Saturn Knight Forcing herself along the icy street, near midnight, fighting the cold, which gnawed at her with relentless force, Hotaru pulls the purple sweater around her tighter; though it did nothing to keep the bitter caress of the wind from violating her body. In the back of her mind, playing like a broken record, the question 'Why did I agree to come to America!?' made her think of her warm, safe bed back home. 'Home…' Hotaru said to herself, just as the first snow began to fall, fluttering gently from the sky and landing on her shoulder. Turning to look at it, her body shaking violently from the cold, she frowned, wondering where she was, where were the others, and why did bad things always happen to her? "Because you're the Soldier of Death…that's why," she mumbled to herself, turning her gaze to the sky as the snow picked up, now falling regularly. A shuddering breath trailed into the sky, mingling with the frigid air before finally succumbing to the relentless chill of the night. "God, it's beautiful…" The faint light seeping through the clouds backlit the scene to perfection, something no artist could ever replicate. Tearing her gaze from the sky, back down to the snow covered ground, Hotaru felt fear rising in the back of her throat…she had been walking for the good part of an hour, and had come across nothing more than bare trees, rocks, and now snow. "I wanna go home…" she said to herself, the simple act of talking causing another plume of vapor to rise from her lips. Though her hands were numb, the muscles ached under her skin with every movement. She was very glad now that had she listened to Haruka's advice, on wearing her snow boots when she went out into the cold, otherwise, she would have lost the ability, and the will, to walk long before. Then she sneezed… a single, violent sneeze. The sudden loss of breath began a coughing fit that drove her to the ground, the snow crunching under her weight as she went down to her knees … Reaching into her pocket for her inhaler, she shakily threw the top off it and took a breath as best as she could and tried to hold it. Forcing herself not to cough as the world spun, she exhaled quickly and repeated, her body giving violent spasms from her refusal to cough. Unable to hold her fit any longer, she surrendered to her body and began coughing violently, trying to stand only caused the world to black out for a moment. Staggering, fighting with all the strength she could muster, but she was at war with something she could never beat; no matter how hard she tried, no matter how strong her will. She was fighting herself. As her body hit the ground, her eyes looked up to the sky as the snow continued to fall, making her already-numb face sting anew with the ice that was now settling in. As her body gave into shock, she felt the world slowly start to slip away from her conscious mind. Her last coherent thought as she looked to the sky, and it's dangerous beauty, was "It's hard to believe something so beautiful could be so deadly…" then all was darkness. "I'm worried about Hotaru," Chibi Usa said to Usagi, as they sat in their hotel room in Maine. "She should have been back a long time ago." Chibi sat with her back against the bed, with Usagi behind her, brushing out her pink hair. "Do you think she's ok?" She twisted her body to look at Usagi, who was too busy watching the American soap opera on TV to pay much attention. "USAGI!" "What?! Huh?" Usagi jumped, literally, as Chibi yelled, just about falling off the bed and onto the floor. "What now?" she blushed light red, embarrassed that she wasn't paying attention. Her own hair was let completely down, not in the usual dual ponytails. "I'm sorry… What did you say Chibi?" "UGH, you never listen!" Chibi took the remote and promptly switched off the TV, tossing the remote under the bed where she believed Usagi couldn't get it. Turning her eyes to Usagi, who was already on all fours, halfway under the bed attempting to fish the remote out, she shouted as loudly as she could, "USAGI!!" This caused Usagi to jump again, hitting her head on the under board of the bed, with a yelp and a wince, she quickly worm her way out, with the remote of course. "OW! What, Chibi Usa? WHAT?" Usagi's eyes were watering from the sting of the pain. "What is so important?" Reaching out her right hand to gingerly touch the fresh bump, her left hand extended with the remote to switch the TV back on, but met with a slap from Chibi's hand, knocking the remote away. "It's HOTARU! She's late! She said she'd be back 2 hours ago." Chibi glanced at the clock over Usagi's shoulder, "I'm worried about her…she doesn't know this place, WE don't even know this place…it's cold outside, and snowing, and it's dark, and it's lonely, an--" "…And you worry too much…" Usagi rolled her eyes and glanced longingly at the remote. "SOMEBODY around here has gotta worry. The only thing you worry about is how you look to Mamou Chan, and your shows on the TV!" Chibi stood, being short enough to look the sitting Usagi in the eye, "Hotaru is late…she's normally on time, unlike some other senshi I could name… Aren't you worried?" This struck a chord with Usagi, and she was about to protest, but as she moved to grab the remote from the floor, her eyes wandered to the window. There was roughly a foot of snow blanketing the ground, and the dark, thick clouds had suffocated the faint light that the moon provided. "Yeah, she's ok…" Usagi said, more in an effort to convince herself, rather than Chibi Usa, who was now at the windowsill, on her tip-toes peeking out from the 10th floor room. "Just stay off the phone in case she has to call and ask for our help." Almost as if on cue the phone rang, and both girls looked at each other. Before the end of the second ring, Chibi had vaulted over the bed and tore the phone receiver off the hook and, placed it to her ear. Usagi wasn't too far behind her, trying to maintain a bit of dignity, rather than throwing herself on the bed she had recently been crawling under. "Hotaru?" Chibi said, hopefully, but was greeted with the voice of a man on the other end. "Uh…no, this is Lieutenant Grey of the Maine PD. We found a girl out in a run down part of Oak Street, off the highway. She was unconscious, and covered in snow. She had a card key to this hotel, and this room. Purple hair, about five fe--" "HOTARU!!" Chibi shrieked, dropping the phone on the floor, her face going pale as she heard. Usagi quickly picked up the phone, placing it to her ear. "Hotaru is that you?" Usagi said into the phone, not sure what she was supposed to hear, but thought it would be bad news. She sighed, gazing to Chibi was sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest crying like the world was going to end. "No….This is Lieutenant Grey, of the Maine PD. A patrol had located a girl lying in the snow near the highway…we believe it's a friend of yours, since she had the key to this room in her pocket." The voice paused a moment, "She's currently at Memorial Hospital, south of Main Street." "Oh Hotaru…." Usagi reached down and placed her hand on Chibi's shoulder. "How do we get there from the hotel? The hotels on…" Usagi grabbed the pad off the desk near the phone, with the little pencil they provide, "It's on Greenway parkway." Arriving at the hospital, via the car Usagi had rented for their vacation, miraculously in one piece, in spite of the horrid driving conditions, the two entered the warm hospital and headed directly for the information desk. The sterile, cold feeling of the hospital sent chills down Chibi Usa's spine as she looked over the sparkling white tile, and stoic white walls of the entry way. The counter was vacant at the time they arrived, and Chibi Usa began an incessant attack on the bell, before having her hand removed by Usagi, who sternly shook her head. Removing her pink earmuffs, and staring out a nearby window, Chibi's heart sank. It was still snowing badly, and only grew more intense with every passing second. Turning back to the counter, Chibi was about to hit the bell again, when a woman emerged from the back area. Her white nurse's uniform was wrinkled, and fit her a bit too tightly, and the blue knit sweater she wore was stretched to its limit. "Yeah?" the red haired nurse asked. Usagi noted immediately that the woman smelled sickeningly of cigarette smoke. "Hi, we're looking for the girl who was found…" Usagi swallowed hard at this. She was used to visiting Hotaru in hospitals, but never for something like this. "She was found by the highwa--" The nurse cut her off with a sigh, rolling her eyes. "Room 415…fourth floor." The nurse then turned around and started back to the back, but paused. Reaching to the counter and taking the bell off the top, and placing it in her pocket, the woman gave Chibi Usa a steely glare. "My, isn't she the friendly one?" Chibi asked, taking Usagi's hand and pulling her towards the two massive steel doors of the elevator. Pushing the button a few times, Chibi waited impatiently for the lift to arrive. Her mind was cluttered with thoughts, assuming the worst…'I can't live without my best friend,' Chibi thought, trembling and blinking back the tears that made their way to eyes. 'If anything happens to Hotaru, I don't know what I'll do…I...I want to see her…I want to see her now!' With a red-eyed glare at the button, Chibi demanded, "What is TAKING this thing so long?!" "I don't know…I guess they're busy or something?" Usagi too, was wondering exactly what was keeping the lift from taking them to the fourth floor. She looked to her left and viewed the staircase, but dismissed it; there was a fire alarm on the door. Sighing, she pushed the button again…the elevator sounded in the silence of the lobby and opened it's metal jaws. Entering the room was one of the hardest things Chibi had ever had to do in her life. She and Usagi crept into the eerily quiet room, only to see their friend laying there, hooked up to machines that kept her alive. Chibi gasped and ran to her best friend, shakily reaching out and taking Hotaru's hand as carefully as she could, afraid she was going to hurt the girl by her touch. "Oh Hotaru…" Chibi whispered, as she felt Usagi's hand on her shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. The purple haired girl made no response to the touch. Her eyes were closed, a tube in her mouth to keep her breathing, with an IV in the back of her hand. Chibi Usa slowly reached out to move some of the matted purple hair from over Hotaru's eyes, in a vain, almost sadistic hope that the she would see violet orbs flicker to life. "It'll be ok," Usagi said reassuringly, not only for Chibi's benefit, but her own as well. It pained her to see Hotaru in this condition, as so often seemed the case. Another gentle squeeze of Chibi's shoulder, before the door opened and the doctor stepped into the room. He was dressed in green S.C.R.U.B.s, and had a stethoscope hanging around the collar of his white coat. "You must be the ones the officer called," the doctor said, picking up the chart from the door and giving it a glance over as he rubbed his slightly stubbled chin. "I guess we start off with the basic's, what's her name? We have Jane Do-" Chibi cut him off, looking up at the man who was at least twice her size. "Is she going to be ok?" her red eyes brimming with tears as she asks him the question, swallowing hard and waiting for the worst news. A faint hope whispered reassurance, but was swiftly drowned by the cackling of reality… Usagi was soon behind her, but cast a glance over her shoulder to Hotaru, who was lying as still as death. "We don't know, we don't have her medical history, insurance information, or any--" This time Usagi cut him off, stating the facts quickly. "Her name is Hotaru Tomoe… H-o-t-a-r-u T-o-m-o-e." Usagi paused as the doctor scribbled down the name then continued, "Look under Haruka Tenou for the insurance information, H-a-r-u-k-a T-e-n-o-u." She was now glad that Michi had insisted that they had health insurance for their trip; even if it was an expensive, and only temporary policy, it sure did come in handy right now. "Alright. I'll have my nurse check it out…" he turned to head away, but Chibi grabbed his shirt to keep him from going anywhere, and pushed the nurse's call buzzer a few times… not releasing her grip, she looked up at him, shaking her head. "Something else I can do for you?" the doctor asked, looking down at the short pink-haired girl. "What's wrong with Hotaru?" A single tear ran down Chibi Usa's face as she all the horrid possibilities floated through her head. "First off she's got hypothermia, secondly she was barely breathing when they brought her in. She's lucky she had her inhaler in her hand or she probably would have died." The doctor's cold tone caused Chibi to sob a single time. This was her FRIEND he was talking about, not just a patient!! The doctor sighed and looked toward the door, grateful that one of the nurses came to see why the buzzer was being rung. Stepping over to her, he handed her the paper with the names on it and whispered something, then looked back the two standing by the bed, and nodded curtly to the nurse. "Visiting hours are over. They have been for about 4 hours or so, but seeing as how this is an emergency, you can stay. Plus, all the roads are snowed in… unless you're walking, you're not going to be able to get home. I've arranged for another bed to be brought in. I'm afraid we can only spare up to two beds per room, and your friend has one…" He stopped turned to the door, "I'll be back as soon as I get the information. She'll be fine until then." And with that, he headed out to gather the records of the girl. "She'll be fine, Chibi…I promise," Usagi said, glancing at her watch. It was almost 1 in the morning now. "I'm going to get some hot chocolate for us, down at the cafeteria. You can stay here if you want." Usagi said, moving to the door as Chibi Usa headed directly for Hotaru's bed and took her hand again, letting that be Usagi's answer. "I'll be right back, ok?" Usagi watched the two for a moment, feeling a sharp stab of pain as she realized this really could be it. Shaking it off, she turned on her heal and walked out of the room. Staring at her friend, Chibi Usa reached out again, running the back of her fingers gently down Hotaru's cheek, ignoring the tears that fell from her eyes. "The soldier of death…" Chibi whispered softly, feeling her heart breaking as she saw Hotaru in such a horrid condition. "The one who can destroy the world…" the pink haired girl murmured as she leaned down and placed a kiss on Hotaru's cheek, saying to herself. "It's hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be so deadly…"